Some Of What I Fear

I avoid you
I don't know if you've noticed, but
I (hide) from you
I am scared
Of what I feel
But what I fear more is how you feel
What I fear is paralysis
How to move
How to act
To react
And just be
How to give what you need
How to hug and to kiss so it comes naturally
I am scared
Of holding hands and knowing there's more
Of closing my eyes and knowing you're there, really there
And here, so near
Some may call me a coward, but it's just how I feel
But feeling too much can blind what is real
That your feelings may be just like mine
And they're fine
Comparatively, they are all benign
It's just that my thoughts contradict me sometimes
And at times I forget that things don't have to rhyme
That time
Is short
I forget this
And fear
That
As well